A little over a year ago, I connected with an acquaintance at church who soon became a friend. We found out that we attended the same ReEngage group on Wednesday nights and the same Life Group on Saturday nights at our church, and we both shared our testimonies in class. We grew closer and closer through a deep, spiritual connection. Now we're both in a different Life Group together and have an incredible bond of prayer between us. She hungers and thirsts for God like few people in my life, and when she speaks, I can really sense the Holy Spirit speak to me through her.
A few weeks ago, she told me that God really pressed on her heart to start seeking HIS agenda for each day rather than her own. She said it was a real game-changer and really started to free her from the stress of always having to be in control.
There have been more than just a few times when I've adopted her new idea and seen it change my own attitude about something I might have been extremely upset and frustrated over. Somehow knowing God already has an agenda planned for my day takes the stress of accomplishing my own list off of me, and also opens my heart to a few divine appointments with people I would have missed. And you know what? I find a sense of peace and calm in chaos that I never could have found before.
So on the days I remember, I am trying to make it a point to ask God to reveal his agenda for my day, to help me be aware of it and remember that it always trumps my plan. Even when it doesn't make any sense.
Let's just say that yesterday and today were two of those days.
Sunday morning hit me hard when I realized I've only got about two weeks until I move away. I figured last week I would focus on the garage sale and getting the house ready, and then once it went on the market, I could schedule last minute lunch and coffee dates with friends.
Then my sweet kitty bit me when I tried to rescue him after finding him hanging upside down by a cord in the window, and it (the bite) didn't heal like it should have. So every time I went to make a plan, the question--should I go to the ER to get this checked?--always lingered in my mind. I tried my best to convince myself it was improving, ever so slowly, and went about my business. Then yesterday morning, after I asked God for his agenda for my day, I left quickly in the morning for a quick appointment with the cardiologist, knowing it was my last cardiologist appointment here. I hoped she'd see that I was doing well and would release me. After that, I hoped to call up a friend that I promised a lunch date with soon.
But, my cardiologist (who did basically release me) took one look at my ever-so-slowly-healing infected bite marks on my leg and said a week of antibiotics should have cleared that infection up much more by now. She insisted I see someone, either by a doc or at an ER that day. So even though I couldn't get an appointment with any of the doctors in my doctor's office, I drove there anyway to see if someone would see me. There weren't any doctors available to see me, but the nurse practictioners came out to look at my leg and said I needed to go to the ER. I'd been praying for clarity about going to the ER, so I guess God gave me that clarity.
I drove myself to the ER, explained the situation, and had several doctors and nurses check out my leg. They all agreed with my cardiologist--a week of antibiotics should have cleared it up much more by now. All I kept hearing was, "Cat bites are the worst and are very dangerous." Apparenty, cats carry a lot of different bacteria than other animals, and apparently, not getting this healed quickly was not a good idea. Other underlying problems could arise that may be very hard to get rid of later.
However, I didn't like the sound of, "We're going to admit you and keep you overnight for observation while we give you IV antibiotics." I was not looking forward to spending my entire day and night in the ER/hospital. Nor did I even want to think about the bills after I'd JUST paid the last month's payment from all my medical issues last year. Now we just start them all over. Ugh. But as my husband says, your health comes first. I definitely can't move out of state and change insurances, doctors, etc. and have a lingering infection in my leg that just won't clear up and heal already.
I spent most of the day in a room in the ER, hooked up to an IV with antibiotics going straight into my right hand. Ouch! I could hardly do anything with just my left hand, and I couldn't move my fingers on my right hand without it hurting and pinching where they stuck me. Thankfully, David came to keep me company and brought my phone charger, some lunch, some SKIP-BO cards, and my computer. He cued it up so we could watch one of our favorite shows all day long. David left around dinner time, and by the time Mike got off work late that night, I was already upstairs in my own room. He brought me a backpack and some extra underclothes, and we got to visit for a little bit while they gave me more antibiotics.
I assumed I'd go home Wednesday morning, and I looked forward to Mike having the day off so he and David and I could do something fun together during the day before we got to go to our second to last ReEngage that night. We hadn't been there in three weeks, so we really looked forward to seeing everyone. Plus, it's just a really great group that we're going to miss very, very much. What we've learned about marriage through this group is absolutely priceless.
Also, our house went on the market today, so I wanted to make sure it was completely ready and picked up for any showings!
But, God had a different agenda for me today. Despite the first doctor saying my leg had improved enough to release me and give me oral antibiotics to finish at home, the infectious diseases doctor said I needed a full 48 hours of IV antibiotics because they go straight into my system, whereas your body only absorbs 40-60% of oral antibiotics. Improvement wasn't enough for this guy. He wanted to see complete healing from all infection. So I settled myself in for another day and night here in the hospital. Definitely not where I want to be, and it also means I had to cancel a lunch date with a friend tomorrow and another appointment tomorrow afternoon all because I have no idea what time they'll release me (and I haven't showered or changed since yesterday morning). It's not like I came prepared to stay for a couple days or anything.
Time is ticking and my remaining days in Texas are few. This is the last place I want to spend those days. But somehow I've remained calm and at total peace, even when nothing makes sense about this freak predicament or timing. I have enjoyed getting to know all the nurses and working with them. I've enjoyed having visitors, and I've enjoyed getting several messages about realtors showing my house to prospective buyers. I think God is trying to let me get out of his way so he can do his thing. From here, it's easier to watch rather than trying to control it all.
I don't know why my cat had to fall off the windowsill and get his foot caught. I don't know why it had to happen when the boys were outside so I was the only one to run to his rescue. I don't know why I didn't think of a smarter way to handle him so he didn't turn and bite me in his distress. I don't know why I didn't realize my feverish sluggishness the next day wasn't related to the bite. I don't know why the first antibiotics weren't effective for me. I don't know why the second ones weren't working well, either. I don't know why I had to spend the so much time and money in a 2 day hospital stay rather than being able to catch up with friends.
But I do know that I prayed for clarity on whether or not to be seen, and God used my six month cardiologist appointment to give me that clarity. This wasn't on my agenda, but it was on His agenda for my day yesterday and today. I suppose tomorrow will worry about itself. I know I can't go home before noon because there's already two house showings back to back before then.
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