This year's word came to me pretty quickly after I asked God to guide me to it. In fact, I think it's a word He's been hinting at for several months now.
While studying through a Christmas devotional, last year's word, satisfy, stood out to me in one of the day's readings (as my word of the year often does). It reminded me that true satisfaction can only come in God's presence, when I'm fully present in my time with Him and when I don't take for granted that He's fully present with me.
Then I read a writing tip from a writing mentor of mind that simply suggested to be fully present in all the holiday gatherings and conversations with people I don't often see. Rather than showing up with my own agenda, my own questions, or my own stories, I can simply listen and be inspired by what they may want to share. I am totally guilty of having selective hearing, thinking about something else while someone is talking to me, or asking a question and then not truly listening for the answer. This year my goal is to just be present in the moment. Present enough to enjoy it, to appreciate it, to feel it, to truly live it.
I find my brain quite a bit scattered at times. Distracted with things to do. Clinging to or reminiscing a past season that already ended or working hard to connect all the dots to create a future season before its appointed time. And then somehow I missed the present moment, the present circumstance that I'm living, the good works prepared in advance for me to do--right now. The today that I one day prayed about for tomorrow.
I'm a highly sensitive person, which I'm learning means I take in too much information at a time and have a hard time processing it all. Overstimulating environments are a struggle for me, so I need quiet time and space to process events and sort them out in my mind. Precisely why I blog and journal. It also makes sense why a coffee date with a single friend is such a gift to me or why I have pursued training to be a counselor. But even in those safer, quieter environments, I still need to be reminded to be present.
Fully present in the present moment. Not distracted, thinking about the past or the future. But taking in everything I can about the present. In fact, according to the Cambridge Dictionary, the word present is defined as: the period of time that is happening now, not the past or the future.
Present in the presence of my family. My students. My coffee dates with friends. Present in the conversation I'm having with whoever is in front of me rather than thinking about what I'm going to say or what I need to do when we finish talking. Only when I'm fully present can I fully listen and fully learn.
Most importantly, fully present in the presence of Christ. How many times do I wake up in the morning, open my Bible or journal, and then find myself apologizing to God for my distracted mind? Already thinking about all I need to do that day rather than just soaking up those first few minutes of the day with the One who already knows how my day is going to go. It's usually in those moments where I'm fully present that I seem to find clearer answers to my prayers and clearer guidance in a situation.
