Hindsight 2020

I both dreaded and looked forward to 2020 since the day my son was born back in November of 2001. Those eighteen years of raising a child seem like an eternity ahead of you when you bring that tiny baby home for the first time. And I cherished all eighteen of them, tucking away so many tender moments in my heart. 

My 18 year old son had the opportunity to ring in the new year of 2020, his year to graduate high school, in a stadium full of thousands upon thousands of 18-24 year-olds praising the name of Jesus. The main theme stating, "Let the roaring 20's begin". Mike, Juan, and I (and my parents) had the chance to watch as much of the Passion Conference as we had time to do online, and my heart swelled to know the truth and passion for Christ being poured into my son not long before I'd launch him out into the world, well, at least into the college world.

I thank God for the incredibly spiritual way our family brought in this new year that held surprises and lifestyle changes no one in their wildest dreams could have imagined were even on the horizon. 

Looking back, as challenging as the year proved to be, God still filled it with blessings that I want to tuck away and cherish. Here are just twenty of those blessings that I can see so clearly in hindsight:

1. The Passion 2020 Conference that we all experienced together as a family to bring in the New Year.

2. We joined a gym that reminded me of the mental benefits of exercise.

(Little did we know how short-lived the use of the gym would be, but it was the jump start I needed!)

I loved that treadmill. It would take me all over the world virtually while I walked. 

3. Our first ever Rockwall Christian Writer's Group Writing Retreat

4. And then COVID-19 found it's way into the United States, and we suddenly found ourselves shut in with only the members of our household and plenty of extra TIME on our hands. Time to read, to write, to play games, to explore, to watch movies, to be creative, to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. 

I literally lived out on my front porch from morning till night during the spring. It was an incredible gift that I didn't want to let slip by without appreciating every single moment. 

Taking my  son's senior pictures. Such a bonding morning with great results. 

Lots of time to spend outside in nature, taking notice of beauty all around us.

Finding new places for coffee dates

So much extra time to spend in prayer

And time to completely rebuild a truck! (Okay, so I wasn't involved in that one.)

God truly blessed and gifted us with more time with our son than we ever could have asked for this last year of his high school career.

5. With so much time and solitude came a lot of introspection and self-discovery. I always knew I thrived in quiet and tranquility, I just may not have known how critically I needed to guard that for me to be my best self. 

6. Solitude. Kinda goes with my last comment. 

7. Poetry. 

When my soul and my environment are just right, the poems just flow from my heart. 

After an amazing writer's retreat followed by tons of time at home in the quiet or out on my porch all spring, I finally found myself reconnecting with one of my first loves--writing poetry. I wrote for me instead of an audience, and I forgot how much I loved to just sit with an open journal and let the words flow. 

8. Bike rides.

Started with a bike at the gym with virtual trails. When the gym closed, Mike and David fixed up my old bike so I could ride again. 

Many days I rode by myself, many with David. That boy challenged me way more than I ever would have challenged myself. 

9. Technology.

 

I knew how to get my mom to smile as soon as she answered my calls. :)

And I'm still having fun setting up my virtual classroom, constantly making changes to it to meet the needs of my kids and to keep them excited to come back every day. 

10. Creativity. 

When normal goes out the window, you just have to get creative. When the rules about how it's always been done suddenly don't apply, the possibilities about what's right and acceptable are endless. We got to recreate what education looks like and we're still doing that!

11. A virtual birthday.

I invited my students to my virtual birthday party, saying they had to bring their own dessert, and they had to wear pink. Mike and the boys got me a pink cake, and my kids all came with their own dessert that we shared together online. It was quite the memorable birthday with the sweetest group of kids. The kids I sent home for spring break that never came back. They will always hold a special place in my heart. We survived the unthinkable school year together. 

And the night ended with one of the most special phone calls of the day, from my "spiritual son", Julian. The boy who always makes me smile.

12. Graduation at the new ballpark, the brand new Ranger's stadium in Arlington before they ever even held a game in it. The day we thought would never come, especially since the date and/or location got changed about 8 different times. 

13. My parents' 50th anniversary.

We were all on pins and needles trying to safely plan that celebration!

14. Online church.

We got to know our new pastor and his wife in a much more intimate way than anyone ever could have expected as they joined us live from their home and prayed over us.

15. Weekly chai dates with my mom, with and without masks

16. Safe places and safe people

I had the privilege of leading Mary DeMuth's newest study, Into the Light, in an online Zoom format. We talked a lot about what it means to be a safe person and a safe place for others, as well as how crucial it is for us to have a safe space and safe person readily available in our lives. 

17. DBU

I'm personally very jealous that David gets to experience this beauty every day. 

18. Answered prayers

When the country started going into lockdown, I grew very concerned for my oldest son, who seemed to waste each day away. He lacked any kind of drive or purpose. I really started praying more intently for God to guide and direct him, and soon after, he started to reconnect with a friend he met at DBU whose dad is a pastor of a small church in McKinney. As much as I didn't want him going out with friends because of the threat of COVID, I knew his mental health was just as critical, so we not only let him go, but encouraged him to. Over the following six months, Juan not only spent a lot of time with his friend (actually a whole friend group), but he also attended church in McKinney more and more regularly with all of them (they were one of the few churches actually meeting as they congregated in their cars in the parking lot for church). Their young adult group grew so much that they built their own little building for their meetings once in person gatherings resumed in the early fall, and Juan made the decision to become a member of the church. God used the pandemic to lead Juan to where he belonged and to instill purpose in him again. 

19. A new kitten

This little guy is both playful and snuggly. His eyes are always wide open, constantly seeking new adventure, but he also loves to be cuddled. We love our other cat, too, but she's a bit of a grouch, always keeping any sort of affection on her terms, so the new little personality has been sweet. 

20. Surviving COVID

Yet the one thing we changed our whole lives all year trying to avoid still found its way into our home in late November. And just when I thought I had a mild case that would soon be behind me, I got worse and feared I might need hospitalization. Once you go in, you're saying goodbye to your family for an undetermined amount of time, which scared the heck out of me. Thankfully I found the strength to call a doctor and got the medication I needed just in time, and I'm probably 95% back to normal, other than some lingering fatigue-a month later. I'm thankful that we're going into the new year with many health care workers already vaccinated and many others in line to get their vaccination soon. 

I think that pretty much sums up many of the bessings that 2020 held for our family. I've got a few more blog entries I hope to find the time to write as we finish up the year and step into 2021. This was a year we will never forget, and this Christmas tree on my mom's wall is the perfect picture for this blog. 

But no matter what, as long as we have Christ, HOPE is never cancelled.