In our hands no more

Everything required of us to send to Colombia is now officially out of our hands (not that any of it ever was in our hands, spiritually speaking).  All of our documents and reports are with our agency, ready to be sent out early next week.  Unfortunately, looks like that will be Tuesday, due to the holiday. (I think I have grown a love/hate relationship with holidays recently....need them desperately just for the mental and physical break, but hate how they keep interrupting this process.)  I e-mailed our lawyer to let him know they were coming so he can communicate that with the people over our case.  

Subconciously, I'm just not able to think beyond the present or plan at all ahead right now.  I saw where that got me last time, and besides completely changing how I live life over the last three years, there's a part of my heart that just won't even go there.  My whole focus has been on arriving at today, getting through this tedious process of collecting all these documents in as timely of a manner as we could.  Now what?  I can't even go there.  Somehow my heart won't let me.  Yes, they gave us an unofficial, informal approval back in November.  Yes, they let us know we found favor in their eyes, but still wanted more specific information on a few matters (family support, specific preparations, and the whole scenario with Julian). But until the rest of those documents arrive in Colombia, within the time frame they are wanting, no official approval can be given in written form.  I'm find myself still holding my breath.  

I'm just glad it's completely out of our hands now.