David has been giddy and excited about his trip all week, until yesterday morning when he woke up and couldn't believe it was finally here! All day he kept asking, "Are you gonna miss me, Mommy? What will you do without me here? Are you going to hate me for going away and leaving you?" I think it shows that he's pretty confident about his place and his role in our home--he knows that when he's missing, his absence is quite noticeable. It got me to thinking about my other "child" down in Colombia. I can't ever see things from just one perspective, anymore. Everything we see and experience makes me think of him. Sadly, he never had that confidence about his role in a family. Growing up in an orphanage, he watched people come and go all the time, even his own siblings. He was taught that life just goes on. There is no time to spend missing them, nor is there time to grieve their loss. That's just how life is sometimes, and we just keep moving. Now that he's on his own, does he often wonder if he's even missed? It makes me wonder just how differently his entire "psyche" and view of the world is different due to not ever growing up with that confidence that he has a special place and a special role in a family, a confidence that when he's not there, his absence is greatly noted. I'm so grateful that my little boy knows how loved and cherished he is, but it makes my heart hurt for the millions and millions of children who don't ever get the chance to taste that confidence.
- I am a wife, daughter, mother, bilingual teacher, poet, author, women's Bible study teacher, world traveler, orphan advocate, and an adoptive mother. Our adoption journey has been filled with a lot of hurt and loss, along with even more hope, grace, and healing. Through it we have experienced more of God than we ever bargained for and have watched Him miraculously redeem our story when we surrendered all the broken pieces to Him.
Friday, March 16, 2012
It's definitely a quiet house here today. Miss the little guy, but I sure don't mind a nice morning of peace and solitude. Plus Mike reminded me to think about the fact that David is likely having a very life changing experience right now. :) I sat out on the back porch with the dogs for awhile, did a little cleaning, continued a little bit of this "self-marketing" business, and now I'm sitting out on my front porch enjoying the beautiful breeze, listening to the birds chirp, and watching my tree bloom into all these beautiful little white flowers. It's usually in full bloom on the first day of spring EVERY YEAR, but maybe the warm winter has gotten it confused, because it's almost in full bloom today.