The years I became a Mom

I've been thinking a lot about my boys' particular ages right now. It's definitely an awkward stage of parenting, fully realizing that they are both adults now, wanting to make their own decisions. I did a little too much for Juan as he entered his twenties, which kinda backfired on me because he didn't then take responsibility for the choices I helped him make. This last year he's really taken the initiative to make his own decisions, many of which I never would have guided him to do, but I've noticed a much, much happier and fulfilled young man.

David has always been pretty independent, so he keeps me and my advice at an arm's length most of the time. I'll admit, though he's made his fair share of mistakes, he's learning from them, and he's a much more well-rounded person than I was at his age.  So I back off and just have to trust that he's figuring out his own way and style. Sometimes he opens up and talks about life, but sometimes he just doesn't. I miss the deep conversations we used to have when he lived at home, but I also respect his need to learn on his own because I'm exactly the same. 

David is 20 years old now. When I was his age, I embarked on the most life-changing adventure of my life to study abroad in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Though I didn't even know it (and wouldn't know it for another ten years), my motherhood journey began during that adventure. Juan was born in Colombia a month before I came back home. God used that whole experience to prepare me to meet him ten years later and then become his second mom five years after that. 

Juan is 24 years old now. When I was his age, I carried and gave birth to David. Truly the most life-changing moment of my life. I can't look at either of them as children in any way. They both are going through so much life change right now figuring out who they are,  and they obviously need my encouragement and respect more than my guidance.  

Both my children were born at the current age of their brother, and that's just mind-boggling to realize the young men they have become. No wonder I feel a bit lost these days. We've entered the pre-empty nest season and really don't have much longer for both of them to still call our home their home.