Today's date will forever be my personal reminder that God is always in control, no matter how bleak our circumstances may look. Unbeknownst to me, while I walked the streets of Buenos Aires, Argentina as an international college student learning Spanish, my oldest son made his entrance into the world in Bogotá, Colombia on November 6, 1997. It took almost eleven years before I even knew he existed, and his shared November birthday with David immediately drew him to me. It's a day my heart cherishes and celebrates, though for three years of my life, it was a day that held deep sadness, regret, and grief.
His twelfth birthday in 2009 changed everything, bringing incredible sadness to know they told Juan David that we wouldn't be adopting him after all. Sadness to accept that he wasn't the son I so wanted him to be. Regret that perhaps we just screwed up in our paperwork or that we hadn't done enough to fix it. Regret that we'd given a little boy hope that wasn't in our place to give. Grief that we'd blindly followed a path that only led to a dead end. Grief that I'd never be able to tell him again that I loved him or hear him tell me he loved me back. Grief has a way of making us rehash all those "lasts" that we shared with our loved one. November 6th marked my last phone call to him, the last gift I got to send him, the last time I told him I loved him, the last time I heard him say it back.
A day I always looked forward to being able to celebrate his life. Until November 6, 2009 marked the last time I got to hear his voice before they stopped letting me call. So when the date came around in 2010 and 2011, I grieved all over again.
But God, in His perfect timing, surprisingly reopened our case and allowed me to celebrate my boy over the phone in 2012, and then finally at home in 2013. And today we celebrate his life together for the 11th time as he turns 26 years old. And in 2018, we even added his baptism to things to celebrate on this day. :)
It is beyond me that we are miles apart again, that God only gave us nine short years together, but I know I can trust Him to take care of him and guide him because of the way He brought him to us in the first place. Just when we thought all hope was lost, God was working out every detail, including a surprise relationship with his older brother, who now lives in and walks the same streets I walked in Buenos Aires, Argentina the day his little brother was born, giving us a very sweet connection. God knew all along.....
I don't know why God chose me to be his second mom or why it had to be such a painful road to bring him home. But He did, and I'm forever grateful to call him my son. I hope I never take this day for granted or all the redemption that it represents.
A day I didn’t know about
The first ten years you were alive
A day I longed to celebrate
A day that I could watch you thrive.
Yet the day soon filled with sadness
As clouds began to fill the sky.
A day filled with celebration
Became the day that made me cry.
A day that marked a beginning
Now marked the ending to our dream
A day I didn’t know that God
Still planned to fully redeem.
Your birthday always reminds me
Of our God’s mysterious ways
The way He chose to unite us
Deserves all the glory and praise.
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