Living in limbo

Well, we left Texas a week ago last Friday evening, and I'm trying my best to feel as settled as possible. Not the easiest when I'm "homeless", but I'm making it a point to find things to be grateful for and to look forward to. I have moments where it hits me that life will never look the same again, but then I remind myself that God has great things ahead for us. I also remind myself that I'm not the only one starting a new chapter right now.  I have three close friends staring widowhood in the face, still trying to make sense of how and why God took their spouse away. I have a son who had nine years with us and now finds himself on his own, trying to figure out how to do this adult thing now with his family almost a thousand miles away. I have friends and family looking at having to split their time with their kids with a spouse who no longer lives with them. I have a mom trying to figure out why God reunited her with a daughter for four short years and then sent her off to a mission field almost a thousand miles away. I have a son caught in limbo, wanting to support us 100% and be with us, while also wanting to taste independence while finishing college for the next two years. I have a husband starting two new jobs while learning a whole new area and way of life.  We're all starting new chapters, saying goodbye to people and places we never wanted to say goodbye to, while looking for God to show up in ways we can't imagine. Some things and losses we may never understand until we get to heaven, so for now we just keep putting one foot in front of the other and just do the next thing. All I know is God will be with us every step and will guide us on the journey. 

Here are just a few pics of things I'm trying not to take for granted or miss the beauty of these moments, however fleeting they are.

I love how my mom and I were in the same mood on that last day before we headed out, wearing our matching Waymaker shirts. Saying goodbye to my mom might have been the biggest mystery as to what God is doing here, but I'm thankful for the way we've been able to grow closer and make some great craft-making, chai-drinking memories together over the last four years. I know this has been extremely hard on her, but I'm so grateful for her support, knowing I had to follow what God was calling me to do. 

I didn't have a lot of emotional attachment to my house, for some reason. I don't know why, but lately it just hasn't felt like home anymore. But oh, the memories that this porch will always bring. My sanctuary, where God and I had some pretty significant conversations over the 15 years I lived there. I do believe that God saved my life out on that porch and gave me incredible guidance over so many life-changing decisions. I don't really have a lot of stipulations about what kind of house I'd like to live in here, but having a porch or deck is a must!

I'm so thankful for Matt and Chrissy's hospitality this first week, helping us adjust and find our bearings before we set up camp on our own. She's a great mom, an incredible household manager, and a wonderful cook! These shish-kabobs were delicious! And even better because we sat outside on the deck to eat them.

David and I spent an afternoon just driving around and hanging out. He's sticking around as long as he's needed until he gets bored or school is starting. He's been helping out around the land and also going to work with Matt and Mike when he can, making a little extra money to put toward his goals. Right now he's staying in the Man Cave above the garage, so I see him every day. But once we park the camper at New Song, he'll stay at Matt's house, so then I won't see him on a daily basis. I can't even bring myself to think about him leaving to go back to Dallas because just the thought of it brings me to tears. I am so enjoying our time together here. 

Pics like these are just priceless. 

Riding bike through a small patch of woods right beside the pasture on Matt's land. Following Chrissy and her horse, a little biker ahead, and two little goats. It's a whole different pace of life here. :)

Every morning and evening in the summer means time out in the pasture, feeding the goats and a horse, while playing soccer, riding bikes, or riding four wheelers. Or even spraying Round-Up. LOL. 

Chrissy is a whole different person once Sully came along. I love watching how her eyes just light up when they're together. She's done an amazing job with that horse.

Catching the sunset through the trees.

Just catching the beauty of the path right on their land. 

Took an evening ride and couldn't help stopping to take a picture of this beautiful pond. 

The trees right in front of Chrissy's house. 

My little biker friend, Wes. Such a sweet kid. 

A day at the city pool. I'm not one who likes to be around a crowd, so I sat at a picnic table to read a good book while Chrissy and the boys swam. (Plus my swimming attire is packed and in storage somewhere).

Just saw this path as something beautiful with the way the sun shone on it that evening. 

Where the camper is about to park for awhile at New Song until we find the right house God has for us. 

My new walking/biking trail at New Song.

I went for a short walk at New Song while Mike and David looked at the hookups for the camper when I spotted this deer. And to think that this is my new home away from home. God knows this nature lover and knew just how to surprise me on my walk. 

The bridge I get to cross every morning on my way to my classroom. 

A white horse/mule that I pass on my way to New Song. 

It's the little things that I'm trying to savor as I'm living life in limbo right now. So many people keep saying we are back home in Indiana, but that's really not the case for me. My husband is definitely home, but it will take awhile for me to call this home. Pennsylvania had me for the first 15 years of my life, then Indiana had me for about 11 years--except for the half of year that I spent in other countries, and then Texas had me for 19 years, except for the three summers that Colombia took me in. Indiana is far from home, but my son reminded me that Indiana is where I spent my late teens and early twenties, the age where I really became the person I am today. He's got a point. Love that kid's wisdom and his ability to speak deeply to me. 

We decided to wait one more day before setting up camp at New Song. We've enjoyed being at Matt and Chrissy's (and having David right there), but I know Mike and I need to get on the same page to start this adventure together. As long as he and his brother are together every evening, it's harder for Mike and I to connect and work together. Staying at Matt's feels too much like vacation. I look forward to spending some more quality, one-on-one time with Mike once we're "on our own".  

Well, I hope I didn't ramble too much on this post. Chrissy offered to drop me off in town for a bit this afternoon so I could use the wifi to catch up on my blog. Now I better respond to those realtor e-mails I got behind on! (Good news is they want to close on the house next week rather than at the end of July!)

 

No turning back now

 Mike, David, Matt, and Mark all ended up hanging out in the Man Cave (a cool room above the garage) until about 5:30 in the morning, but Peggy (my mother-in-law) and I slept on camping cots in the basement and fell fast asleep as soon as we turned the lights out, probably around 3:30 in the morning. My nephews and Chrissy had all gone to bed much earlier, so we could hear them upstairs by around 7:30 or 8:00 the next morning. By 8:30, we started to get up and around, and before lunch time, we had all headed out with the moving truck to unload the contents of our house, garage, and driveway into an empty barn/garage at Chrissy's mom's house, about 15 minutes away. 

What took Mike and David almost three solid days to load took four Alspaugh men (and women) just a couple hours to unload. We kept it somewhat sorted in the barn so that we can get things as needed, or at least we tried. Haha. 

Chrissy's mom also came out and fed us a really good lunch of hamburgers, chips, salad, baked beans, corn on the cob, and really good iced tea. I felt so blessed, to have this convenient, spacious place to store our things until we find the right home here to meet our needs, but also to be so warmly welcomed and received. 

We got done unloading, and then Mike looked at me and said, "Well, our stuff's all unloaded now, so there's no turning back!"

We're officially homeless, I guess. We kept just enough clothes and essential things out so we could set up our new home in Peggy's camper that she brought down to Columbus for us to borrow for awhile until we find the right house to buy. She and Stan (my late father-in-law) had just bought this camper together not much more than a year ago, so giddy and excited for a new chapter in life post-retirement. They may have taken a couple of small trips (from Warsaw to Columbus) in it before his health and mind deteriorated too much for him to be able to make use of it. Who knew then that Mike and I would soon call it our temporary home back in Indiana? 

So far we're parked in Matt's driveway, but tomorrow we'll take it out to New Song and set up camp there temporarily. I have enjoyed being here with Chrissy and the boys while Mike and Matt have worked all day, plus David is here for a little while helping us get things settled and squared away. She's made some amazing meals and been so hospitable, making us feel right at home. But I am very excited to get on campus at New Song and begin to make it my home. Even after I get a house, New Song will be my new home away from home.  We took a little trip there yesterday to show Chrissy and the boys, and it just felt like I have always belonged there. 

Here, safe and sound

 Well, I wish I would have had a chance to blog over the last few days because each day could have and should have been a post of its own. But alas, I had no time and then no wifi to do any blogging. So I will try to catch you up on at least the main events of the last few days.

To start, we are here. I guess you could say we're in limbo-land, kind-of feeling like a mixture of being on vacation, but with no home to go back to. Mike went straight to work on Monday morning, so we haven't even had a chance to really get our bearings and debrief or anything of the sort as of yet. 

We were supposed to close on our house on the 5th and leave a day or two later. But at the last minute, the buyers extended their option period while they drew up a "new" offer that reflected their concerns about their true budget after they had an inspection completed. Their new offer was so far from their original offer that we had to respectfully decline and terminate the contract. We definitely saw a case of an investor trying to take advantage of us. So, we scheduled a time to get the moving truck, and Mike and David started packing the truck immediately. 

We hoped to leave Thursday afternoon, then switched to Friday morning, then to Friday afternoon, and finally by 8:00 on Friday night, we had the house empty and clean, the moving truck packed completely full, two SUV's packed full, a trailer loaded behind one SUV for David to pull, and another trailer loaded behind the moving truck to haul Mike's prized rock-crawler. With a caged cat in two vehicles, we each got into a vehicle to begin the long drive North, assuming we'd make it at least a few hours that first night to shorten up the trip some on Saturday. 

We're so thankful for so many prayers for safety, because God definitely kept us safe, though the trip was anything but uneventful. That Friday night, I started getting tired around 11:30 and told Mike I could make it till midnight. That would get us to Texarkana, one of the bigger towns. Except once we got to Texarkana around midnight, we couldn't find any motels with any vacancies. So we drove a bit farther while Mike called 14 different motels on our way, only to find out everyone was booked due to an athletic tournament going on. I finally resorted to a being open to a Walmart parking lot where I could at least sleep a few hours in my car. Just when we decided on that over the phone, we heard a popping sound, which happened to be Mike's trailer tire. So he slowly pulled off the road and onto the next exit, right into a Walmart parking lot. When we all got our of our vehicles to look at the tire, we looked up and saw a motel right across the street. With a vacancy! We all got a good night's sleep for the long drive on Saturday, and we got the tire we needed at Walmart in the morning. God took good care of us that night, in Hope, Arkansas, of all places. 

Saturday we got a later start due to getting the tire situation all sorted out and fixed, so we didn't pull out until about 10:30 in the morning with a ten hour drive ahead of us. I was really started to get bored and tired in the late afternoon (I don't know that I've ever driven that long on my own), so I was really looking forward to listening to church online at 6:00. I was so excited to get to listen to my church for an hour and hear Josh Howerton preach. 

But shortly after 6:00, as I was singing along with the worship, I watched as David blew a tire on the trailer he was pulling in front of me. So we both pulled off onto the side of the road and got off on the next exit. He pulled into the first parking lot he saw, which just so happened to be a wrecker service. With tires. He walked in (thankfully they were still open on a Saturday evening), explained what happened and what he needed, and they let him pull into the shop and get things taken care of. In that time, I was able to go to the gas station across the street, use the restroom, get some coffee, fill up my gas tank, and then drive to McDonalds to grab us something to eat for dinner. So we lost another hour, but God definitely kept us safe and took care of us. Oh, and I did get to listen to the rest of church, too. 

We all three got back on the road, but we kept losing time due to some engine issues Mike was having with the truck that made going up any kind of hill or incline take a lot longer. We finally found ourselves driving up the last road to Mike's brother Matt's house at about 2 am (1 am our time in Texas). Except that his road was a bit more of an incline than the truck's engine could handle, and the truck just stopped moving. He revved it the whole way, but the truck wouldn't budge another inch up that hill. So we called Matt, who came with his Excursion to pull the truck the rest of the way up the hill to his house. Not quite the grand entrance we really wanted to make back into Indiana, especially at 2 am, but hey, we're thankful we made it up every other hill prior to that without any issues. By the time this happened, Matt was just at the top of the hill with just the right vehicle to come to our aid. 

I have a lot more to write, but I'll end this post and continue the story later. I'd hate to leave out any important details because I'm trying to tell too much at once.