Spring break adventure

 This last year has brought about a lot of unexpected changes for our family, including a very unexpected adventure we're about to embark upon for spring break. David, Mike and I are hopping in the car early tomorrow morning to make yet another drive up to Indiana. My second trip within this school year, Mike and David's third trip. But this time we're not going any further north than Columbus, IN. 

I still can't believe I'm actually saying this, but we're both looking at potential job opportunities. I never imagined myself ever leaving Texas unless it meant moving to another country, perhaps as a retired couple to work in ministry together. I love the near year round warm weather, or at least the very short winter months mixed with plenty of sunshine and random 70 degree weather days. My sister-in-law, Chrissy, has jokingly tried to get us to move up there for years, and I always laughed her off. Nice place to visit and catch up, but I had no intention of ever moving there.

Even in October when Mike began feeling drawn back after seeing how much help his mom needed in caring for his dad and he asked me to pray about the possibility of moving closer to her, I put my foot down. No. I had a good, secure job working with bilingual children and families from all over Central America. We've been here for almost 19 years, are part of an absolutely amazing church, and our boys are here, not yet launched from the nest. Our house is almost paid off, and we've almost reached our goal of being debt free AND getting the youngest through college. A move up North, a financial security risk, and an interruption to our timeline was NOT on my agenda. Plus, my brother and I moved our parents down here just four years ago to be closer to both of us. How could I turn around and leave? What would that do to them? Just the thought of it made me feel like a traitor to my side of the family. 

But I heard myself loud and clear, and I realized that our marriage is not all about ME and MY agenda or MY timeline. In fact, Mike moved here almost 19 years ago, no questions asked, for me and an opportunity that God opened for me to become a certified bilingual teacher. That move wasn't on anyone's radar, either, but when you see God provide you an opportunity to do something you couldn't have made happen on your own, you take it. 

So I agreed to pray about it, and little did I know, Mike was praying that God would draw me to Indiana on my own if it truly is His will. 

Mike's dad unexpectedly passed away, and Mike and David flew to Indiana on Christmas Day to be with his mom for a surgery, with the plan for Juan and I to follow a week later on New Year's for the funeral. Well, Juan and I didn't make it due to COVID, and Mike's three week planned absence seemed to drag on. My sister-in-law, Chrissy, and I stayed in touch texting and talking quite a bit regarding how our husbands were doing up at their mom's house and how we were doing without them. We had connected on a pretty deep level when we went up in October, and now we also started doing a chronological read through the Bible together, so God was obviously drawing us closer together than we had ever been before. 

On January 6, she texted me about meeting a stranger at the public library and finding out about the Christian children's home  (New Song Mission) they worked at. In their conversation, the stranger just happened to mention that they lost their licensed teacher and were looking for a new one. She immediately thought of me, called them, and got more information on the position. The next morning, she e-mailed it to me. 

At first, I just shrugged it off. It would be a pretty big drop in my pay (though Mike could have potential to make quite a bit more than he does here), so I wasn't interested. Definitely not with a son in college. Two weeks passed, and I realized I should probably at least take the time to open the e-mail and check it out since she went through the trouble of calling and sending me the info. When I did, I couldn't deny that I am very uniquely qualified for the position. Between my degree and experience in ministry, 19 years of experience as a teacher working with at-risk kids, and my personal experience with older child adoption and working with kids from hard backgrounds. As I read more about the organization, I realized that it sounded very much like a missionary teacher, and rather than having to raise support, they would actually pay me. The thought crossed my mind that perhaps this is something God has been preparing and equipping me for. 

Then I thought about how I was already feeling more than ready to leave public school and find a ministry-related job. In fact, I had even made that comment to a fellow teacher who just found out I had a degree in Christian ministries, not in education, and I said, "yeah, and I'm really feeling the need to get back into that area rather than continue to stay in public school." I had also made the comment to two other teacher friends that I didn't know if I wanted to stay in the classroom for another ten years until I can retire. Funny, I'd been perfectly happy in the classroom up until COVID happened. But last year killed my joy and the stress debilitated me. I hoped this year would be better now that we weren't trying to teach students online and in person at the same time, but the strong push for academic remediation over mental health just isn't ethical anymore. I know that if I have an opportunity to do something else, I need to take it--for my own physical and mental health. 

So, I sent an e-mail to the school/children's home director with a little information about myself and just asked if this position will even still be open next fall. The guy responded right away and told me he hoped to have several candidates by March. He asked if I had a chance to talk during the school day between 10:15-2:15. Well, I'm a teacher. Of course I didn't have time. And even when I do have a break during the day, I usually need every second of it and more to get what I need to get done. But guess what? We conveniently had an ice storm predicted, so they canceled school ahead of time. So I guess I did have time to talk during the school day, after all. 

The phone call went well, and they said they'd like to start the interview process with me if I was committed to move to Indiana. I said I'd need a couple weeks to pray about it and talk with a few friends and mentors. I shared with ONE friend and asked her to pray with me about it. I shared with a few other people that I was considering a career change and could use prayers for wisdom. As I took some time to really pray about it myself, God led me to two different verses. The first one was from Psalm 23, from a prayer that I pray every single day. "I need rest in green pastures and refreshment from still waters. Lead me there and I will follow." New Song is located on 100 acres of scenic land, specifically with green pastures and still waters. Hmmm. Then I turned the page in another prayer book I had, and there was the verse, "Psalm 40:3--He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord." I must admit, the pull feels pretty strong. 

I waited until I could seek wise counsel, and then I decided to set up an interview. However, I had parent conferences going on at school, so I could NOT take time out of my day or even take time off. They could not do an interview during the evening hours, either. But guess what? We had another ice storm and canceled school again. So exactly two Thursdays after the last phone call, I had a zoom interview (the first of three). Things went really well and seemed very encouraging on both sides. We decided we'd set up the next interview over my spring break. 

Mike and I decided that we wouldn't feel confident about anything unless we could see the school and the property and meet the staff in person, so we planned a very quick trip up there during spring break to do just that. Tomorrow we will drive up there, and Thursday morning we will join them for chapel as they start out a normal day at New Song Mission, and then we will spend an hour or so talking more with the director and his wife after that. 

I'm excited to see how God keeps leading, but I will admit it terrifies me at the same time. I felt like a traitor breaking the news to my family here in Texas, but I feel so selfish when I think about Mike's side of the family and how much they would love for us to be close to them again. He'll never get the last 19 years back that he lived so far from and out of touch with his dad, but he can recover some of that loss still with his mom, brothers, and nieces and nephews. I am excited about a possibility of growing closer with Chrissy and diving into Bible study together, but I would also grieve the loss of my church and Bible study friends here that I've grown so close to over the years. I am excited about the possibility of working in a Christian environment and being able to teach with Christ at the center of everything, but I would miss working with bilingual children from so many different countries every year.  I am excited about the chance to be surrounded by so much nature, an environment that makes me thrive, but I would miss the year round warmth that Texas gives. I am excited about the sense of newness and adventure that Mike and I would experience together, but I can't even imagine being so far from both of my boys. 

I can't say for sure what this Thursday will bring. I am hoping that it will give us all clarity of whether or not we're supposed to move forward. I will admit that I'm very torn, which is why I haven't shared much at all with anyone up until this point. I have spent a lot of time just praying and seeking wisdom and guidance. But it really seems like God just keeps on guiding in this direction and softening my heart to the idea.  The idea of moving has been on the table since October, but New Song Mission has only been part of the puzzle since the first week of January, so it's been on my heart and mind for almost exactly two months. So, it may seem like it's out of the blue, but I'm hoping this blog helps explain how it all came about. If New Song is not the place for me, then I still have a husband with an opportunity that I can't ignore. So I still need all the prayers for wisdom I can get.