Getting real

 It's getting more and more real that I'm closing a chapter. Up till now, I've kept my focus on all the excitement of starting a new chapter, but as the school year comes to a close, I'm realizing that a new chapter can't start until this one comes to an end. I can't say I like the feeling of noticing all the "lasts", but I don't want to miss them, either, because I'm constantly looking ahead. 

For my own sanity due to my more reserved personality and struggle with words when put on the spot, I sent this e-mail out to my coworkers the day after everyone found out I am leaving. 

Thank you for your kind words upon hearing that yes, I am leaving Bullock after 19 years. I tend to be quiet and keep to myself a lot, but I really do appreciate your hugs and compliments. This was not an easy decision, but it was one I knew I needed to make. I moved here 19 years ago from Indiana where my husband's entire family resides, and now we are moving back, though not to the same city or area. My husband's brother started a business a few years ago that has done really well, and he has jokingly commented that my husband should come run the business with him. I had no intention of leaving Texas, but after my mother-in-law went through cancer last year and then my father-in-law deteriorated quickly from dementia over the last year and then suddenly passed away at Christmas from COVID, we knew my husband needed to be closer to his family after living in Texas for nearly 20 years. I then had a very unique opportunity present itself in late January to teach at a Christian school called New Song Leadership Academy at a Christian children's home called New Song Mission. I started looking into it, and one thing led to another before I found myself accepting a job offer. It is right in line with both my original field of study and passion (Christian Ministries) and my teaching experience. It sits on 100 acres of land, and I will get to be involved with a small group of kids in a very meaningful way. I will also be able to help open their doors to bilingual children, as well. 

I will miss all of you, and Bullock will always have a huge part of my heart. And I sure do have a LOT of Bullock t-shirts to remind me of this second home of mine. I have a lot of mixed emotions about leaving but am very excited about this new adventure with my husband. (Both of my boys are staying here, as they are both adults now. David will be a junior in college at DBU and already lives in an apartment there year round. Juan is a part-time student and works full-time as a pool guy here in the area.) I'll stay in touch on Facebook, and if any of you are blog readers, I can send you my blog, as well, so we can stay connected. 

Sending that out really did help to curb all the questions and interruptions to my day. My fellow Christian coworkers have been really excited for me and in awe of how God just laid out this path in front of me. They've been super encouraging throughout the week, and many surprisingly were brought to tears. My teammate said, "You just have that way with words, I think." Well, maybe in writing, but definitely not verbally! Lol. 

I haven't told the kids yet that I won't be coming back next year, and I'm not sure their 8 year old minds have put two and two together as they've heard many teachers stop to talk to me about it. I'm so thankful we have fun activities planned for the rest of the year so I can focus on creating lasting and meaningful memories with them. They sure are a great group of kids, and their parents have been incredibly supportive of me this year. 

Yesterday we had Field Day together and spent the majority of the day just playing outside and hanging out. It was my 17th Field Day at my school (we skipped two years for COVID), and probably one of the best I've had. My kids were a lot of fun and appreciated every moment. We came in around 1:00 to rest up in the classroom, but we just kept on celebrating with cupcakes for one students' birthday, prepared fruit cups on ice from a student whose mom works in a restaurant, and little chocolate cakes from another student. Plus each child got a snack bag with lots of other goodies. THEN we went back outside at 2:00 for popsicles!

I'd say my last Field Day turned out to be a huge success, and each child went home happy and full. I am so thankful for this positive memory to add to the close of this chapter. 

As hard as it is to know we still have two more weeks of classes when all the other districts around us got out yesterday, I can't say I'm sad about 7 and a half more days to make memories with my kids. They've been working hard on writing letters in a book to each of their classmates and to me (and I've written a letter to them in each of their books, too), and they're so excited to get their book to take home on the last day. I'll consider it a writing teacher win this week when they begged for more time to keep writing their letters rather than work on their ipads.  I'll admit, I've scrapped a few things from the curriculum that I probably should still be teaching in order to make room for these memorable activities, but in light of the recent tragedy of this week in Uvalde, TX and also in light of the fact that these are my last weeks as a public school teacher after 19 faithful years, I am more concerned with filling up my kids' love tanks  and self esteem than anything else. I know what matters.