150 Days Chronologically in the Word

I started my first round to read through the Bible chronologically on January 1st through a program called the Bible Recap. Today is Day #150. 

Normally I read several chapters, sometimes from two different books. Today, I read Psalm 119, the longest chapter in the Bible. I didn't know it was also the center chapter of the Bible before, nor did I know the labor that went into writing this particular psalm. It's more than just the author (thought to be Ezra) pouring out his heart to God. I learned that it's a Hebrew acrostic poem, with each section (containing 8 verses in each one) starting with a subsequent letter of the Hebrew alphabet (and all the lines in the section start with that letter, too).  As a poetry writer, this knowledge gave me a whole new respect for this Psalm, knowing all the time and effort that went into writing it. 

Honestly, this whole experience has been fascinating. I actually listen through the audio while reading on my phone or while I'm out walking, rather than just read it on my own, and I think I may be retaining things a bit more this way. I'm seeing connections, patterns, and an overarching story being played out in ways I never noticed before, and the characters each stand out and mean more to me. I love the way they have you read certain Psalms right along with I and II Samuel and I and II Chronicles to show David's emotion and intimate conversation with God as he experienced specific events. 

I just happened to start Day 1 on January 1st, but you can actually start your Day 1 on any day of the year and read until that day a year later. If you've never read through the Bible this way, I highly encourage you to try it. The Bible Recap is great because after you read/listen to it, there's a lady who then recaps it and gives extra contextual information to help you understand it even more. I'm super glad I heard about it and decided to give it a try. 

Getting real

 It's getting more and more real that I'm closing a chapter. Up till now, I've kept my focus on all the excitement of starting a new chapter, but as the school year comes to a close, I'm realizing that a new chapter can't start until this one comes to an end. I can't say I like the feeling of noticing all the "lasts", but I don't want to miss them, either, because I'm constantly looking ahead. 

For my own sanity due to my more reserved personality and struggle with words when put on the spot, I sent this e-mail out to my coworkers the day after everyone found out I am leaving. 

Thank you for your kind words upon hearing that yes, I am leaving Bullock after 19 years. I tend to be quiet and keep to myself a lot, but I really do appreciate your hugs and compliments. This was not an easy decision, but it was one I knew I needed to make. I moved here 19 years ago from Indiana where my husband's entire family resides, and now we are moving back, though not to the same city or area. My husband's brother started a business a few years ago that has done really well, and he has jokingly commented that my husband should come run the business with him. I had no intention of leaving Texas, but after my mother-in-law went through cancer last year and then my father-in-law deteriorated quickly from dementia over the last year and then suddenly passed away at Christmas from COVID, we knew my husband needed to be closer to his family after living in Texas for nearly 20 years. I then had a very unique opportunity present itself in late January to teach at a Christian school called New Song Leadership Academy at a Christian children's home called New Song Mission. I started looking into it, and one thing led to another before I found myself accepting a job offer. It is right in line with both my original field of study and passion (Christian Ministries) and my teaching experience. It sits on 100 acres of land, and I will get to be involved with a small group of kids in a very meaningful way. I will also be able to help open their doors to bilingual children, as well. 

I will miss all of you, and Bullock will always have a huge part of my heart. And I sure do have a LOT of Bullock t-shirts to remind me of this second home of mine. I have a lot of mixed emotions about leaving but am very excited about this new adventure with my husband. (Both of my boys are staying here, as they are both adults now. David will be a junior in college at DBU and already lives in an apartment there year round. Juan is a part-time student and works full-time as a pool guy here in the area.) I'll stay in touch on Facebook, and if any of you are blog readers, I can send you my blog, as well, so we can stay connected. 

Sending that out really did help to curb all the questions and interruptions to my day. My fellow Christian coworkers have been really excited for me and in awe of how God just laid out this path in front of me. They've been super encouraging throughout the week, and many surprisingly were brought to tears. My teammate said, "You just have that way with words, I think." Well, maybe in writing, but definitely not verbally! Lol. 

I haven't told the kids yet that I won't be coming back next year, and I'm not sure their 8 year old minds have put two and two together as they've heard many teachers stop to talk to me about it. I'm so thankful we have fun activities planned for the rest of the year so I can focus on creating lasting and meaningful memories with them. They sure are a great group of kids, and their parents have been incredibly supportive of me this year. 

Yesterday we had Field Day together and spent the majority of the day just playing outside and hanging out. It was my 17th Field Day at my school (we skipped two years for COVID), and probably one of the best I've had. My kids were a lot of fun and appreciated every moment. We came in around 1:00 to rest up in the classroom, but we just kept on celebrating with cupcakes for one students' birthday, prepared fruit cups on ice from a student whose mom works in a restaurant, and little chocolate cakes from another student. Plus each child got a snack bag with lots of other goodies. THEN we went back outside at 2:00 for popsicles!

I'd say my last Field Day turned out to be a huge success, and each child went home happy and full. I am so thankful for this positive memory to add to the close of this chapter. 

As hard as it is to know we still have two more weeks of classes when all the other districts around us got out yesterday, I can't say I'm sad about 7 and a half more days to make memories with my kids. They've been working hard on writing letters in a book to each of their classmates and to me (and I've written a letter to them in each of their books, too), and they're so excited to get their book to take home on the last day. I'll consider it a writing teacher win this week when they begged for more time to keep writing their letters rather than work on their ipads.  I'll admit, I've scrapped a few things from the curriculum that I probably should still be teaching in order to make room for these memorable activities, but in light of the recent tragedy of this week in Uvalde, TX and also in light of the fact that these are my last weeks as a public school teacher after 19 faithful years, I am more concerned with filling up my kids' love tanks  and self esteem than anything else. I know what matters. 

Starting to hit me

 As each day flies by me now, reality sinks in a bit more. It's definitely starting to hit me on a more emotional level all of a sudden. Just when I least expect it, I find tears rolling down my cheeks. The days I'm physically tired seem to be harder on me than other days. 

Last weekend we had our garage sale. Not a big moving sale, as we don't have furniture we're wanting to sell yet. More of a chance to get rid of some "junk" that we don't want to pack, stuff we really don't need, want, or use. I brought home a bunch of personal things I've bought for my classroom over the years, Mike and David cleaned out the garage, and I went through all of the kitchen cabinets and a few closets. 

My friend who also teaches second grade at another school saw our sale on Facebook and got her teammate to buy most of my school stuff. David sold a bunch of little things from the garage,  along with some clothes, and thankfully a lot of the kitchen gadgets sold. Juan also sold a couple things, though he didn't put anything out until the second day, which didn't bring in much traffic. We learned quickly that Friday morning is the best time for a garage sale! Saturday and Sunday--not so much. 

The best part of those two days was just getting to hang out with David. He really is a team player when it comes to family. And having all day long to just let conversations happen naturally felt pretty bonding. So maybe we did spend a big portion of our sales money on getting food....the breakfast, lunch, and dinner together were worth every penny. 

We loaded up three large boxes of donations to take to Goodwill or the Salvation Army after we tired of running the sale, and as I drove toward the donation drop off place, my first set of tears started to fall regarding this move. I came back home shortly after and told David how much I'm going to miss seeing him on the weekends. 

Funny, I am already used to not seeing him at all during the week and don't seem to miss him those days. I know he's in a good place, he enjoys his space and his independence, and I know I'll be able to see him on an occasional Saturday. But something about spending the entire weekend with him for that sale made me realize how much I love knowing he's at least close by. 

Monday and Tuesday of this week, I stayed late to continue sorting through and purging things in my classroom, deciding what I wanted to keep of my own files and materials, what I should trash, and what I should "donate" to the teacher's lounge. Before I left today, I sat down to check my e-mails and found "the" e-mail that everyone waits for at the end of the school year, the one that says who we're saying good-bye to and what changes to expect the next year. 

Lots of teachers are moving around or leaving, and halfway down the page, I saw my name. I'd only told a few people so far, and surprisingly, word hadn't traveled as fast as I expected. It's not that I didn't want people to know, I just like to keep to myself and don't like a lot of people in my business. But I guess it's out now. I didn't realize how it hit me emotionally, though, until I started driving home and felt the tears roll down my cheeks. 

As ready as I am to say goodbye to public school and to venture into something completely new, walking away from a 19 year career is not as easy as I thought it might be. Nineteen years of walking into the same building, morning after morning, is a long time. I've been in that buiding longer than I've lived in my house. It truly is my second home. Turning in my resignation, not signing my new contract, counting down the last days of school, etc. has felt very strange and a bit uncomfortable. I'm closing a big chapter of my life in just two and a half weeks. I can't really pinpoint any specific emotion to describe how it feels, other than very, very awkward. I haven't figured out the best time to tell the kids yet, either. And though more and more things disappear from our classroom every day, they haven't asked why.....yet.

So, that's where I am in all this mix right now. Sorting through a lot of mixed emotions, and a lot of stuff--either in my classroom or in my house. Hoping to get enough packed and cleared out in the next week in preparation to sell the house. Definitely an overwhelming task. 

Keeping this pic on my phone at all times, reminding me what's waiting on the other side of all this change. An opportunity I never could have imagined on my own. A new job, a new classroom, a new song to sing--on New Song Road. 

This boy

 

This boy. He's quirky, he's a bit strange at times, he's stubborn, he's quite the extrovert, he loves his friends, and he's super-friendly and charming everywhere we go together. 

And, he loves his mom. It may be in his own way on his own timetable that can frustrate me quite a bit, but still, I'm so thankful for him.

He asked for ideas for my birthday, and I sent him some pics of bowling bags I liked since mine is broken, and I also said I need new bowling shoes since mine bit the dust after 22 years. So, honestly, that's what I assumed he got me for my birthday. But nope. During dinner, he told me we were going to T-Mobile right after we ate to upgrade my phone to a Google Pixel 6. It wasn't a cheap gift, by any means, and knowing all he's got on his plate right now with needing to find an apartment soon, a gift like that spoke a lot and showed me how much he values me.  We also had a really nice time chatting with the lady as she transferred all my phone data and apps, and he pretty much told her his adoption story. It was super sweet. 

Today I told him we could go apartment hunting together this afternoon, but I think I overdid things on this birthday week of mine, because I woke up and felt like I hit a brick wall. My stomach has felt weird all day, I've been in the bathroom a lot, and I just haven't felt like going anywhere or doing anything. So I've literally sat on the couch and worked on my computer all day, trying to catch up on things I've fallen behind in or that have been starting to stress me out as each day seems to just fly off the calendar (like making doctor's appointments, catching up on the bills, working ahead on end of year stuff for school since my mind is a bit preoccupied with packing and home prep.)  I'm definitely starting to feel overwhelmed. I think God said, "Enough is enough. You need to rest your mind and body today." Didn't even go for a walk or ride my bike. Hoping our big garage sale next weekend will help clear out a bunch of space and clutter so I can feel more at peace with this whole process. 

At the moment, Juan went to the Colombian restaurant to grab dinner and bring me back some rice and ajiaco soup. I bet a few calories and some chicken broth will really help. 

Later, we're watching church together online tonight since I'm not feeling that great, and then Mike and David are going to go hang out at the races. They've been spending a LOT of quality time together lately. I love the father/son closeness between them. I think it also really helps Mike in his grieving process right now. Last night, they ended up going to Men's Night at church together, which turned out to be a huge, highly impactful night. They both came home with grilling tools that say LakePointe, and they came home with Ranger's tickets, too! 

Well, I better go so I'm ready to eat my soup as soon as Juan comes back.

Happy birthday to me

My birthday turned out pretty special this year. 

I started off my day using my special prayer corner pillow that my mom made and gifted to me a couple days early. We had seen one at a craft sale, and she turned around and made one for me that looked very similar. I love it! It's the perfect way to store my prayer journal and books that I use each morning, and it looks cute, too. I especially love the material she used with all the different names of Jesus. It's a gift I will use every day and one that I will treasure.

I also opened a card my grandma sent me with such a sweet note of encouragement inside. 

Mike and Juan were still sleeping when I left, but I woke up to a facebook message from Mike and a message from David that they both sent after midnight the night before. I also got a really sweet message on facebook from my host family in Argentina wishing me a happy birthday and telling me they always carry me close in their hearts.

I got to school, and as soon as I got out of my car, the crossing guard (a close family friend from church) hollered down the street to me, "Happy birthday!!!" Little did he know that he was the first person to verbally wish me a happy birthday. 

My students spoiled me so much last Friday for the end of Teacher Appreciation Week that I didn't expect much for my birthday a few days later. Last year my students didn't even remember my birthday at all.

But they completely surprised me when three students walked in the door with big gift bags in their hands. One with perfume, one with a really nice lotion, and then another with a really cute t-shirt for me. I gave them all big hugs and started my day with a smile both on my face and in my heart. When all but one student had arrived, I assumed she was going to be absent, so I put the breakfast coolers in the hallway and closed the door to start class. A few minutes later, she opened the door and walked in with a huge bouquet of 13 multicolored roses, a balloon, and a small individual cake with icing that looked like a blue rose. (This is the same student that had just given me a vase of at least a dozen multicolored roses on Friday!) They made me feel so loved and special that I determined to enjoy every bit of the day with them. I felt absolutely spoiled. 

I got lots of Happy Birthday wishes from other students, staff and teachers during the day. One student from another class gave me a sweet note and another one gave me a dollar. Two other staff members also had the same birthday as me, so that made for a fun day celebrating each other. One of them wore a cute little pink crown that said, "Happy birthday!" I looked at her and then told my kids, "I need that crown!" I was tempted to make a paper one, but decided it wasn't necessary. Lol. 

After lunch, we went back into the classroom to start Math when another teacher that helps out in the office walked in my door with a huge display of 14 more multicolored roses. When she handed them to me, I saw that it was from one of my students, the same boy that gave me all the strawberry treats last week! My heart melted!

This time I left all the new roses in my classroom we can all enjoy their beauty and they can remind me every day of what a sweet bunch of kids I have this year. 

After school, I rushed out to make it home with enough time to go out with Mike to Texas Roadhouse for dinner to use the rest of the gift card we had from our anniversary. We got seated immediately, and the food came really quickly. We both enjoyed some good rolls with cinnamon butter, fried pickles, side salads, sirloin steak, and loaded mashed potatoes. YUM!

After we ate, we rushed to Rockwall to our weekly ReEngage meeting, arriving right as it was starting. I'm so glad we didn't miss it because our pastor, Josh Howerton's, parents gave their testimony there for the first time. They just moved here to Texas a few months or so ago. One of the things I love the most about ReEngage is you really get a chance to "know" the leaders in the church and understand their stories. The more you know about their struggles and what God has redeemed in their lives, the more you connect with them and respect them. 

After the large group testimony and worship time, we went to our group that we meet with every week, and two of us wives celebrated our birthdays since her birthday was a day after mine. She even brought cupcakes and brownies for us!

Unfortunately, I couldn't stay for the whole thing because I went to my writer's group, also at the church, while Mike stayed with our marriage group. I only have about one or two more times that I get to be with them since they only meet once a month, so I didn't want to miss it. I hadn't shared anything about moving yet, so I decided to write about it as my writing to share for critique. When they finished reading it aloud, the two leaders looked at me with their jaws dropped and said, "And this is how we get to find out????" Then the leader that I've been the closest to got up out of her chair right then and walked over to me to hug me. I can't tell you what that meant to me because she has no idea how much she has helped me as a writer in the last ten years I've been part of that group. I will miss them immensely. I plan to scope out a new writer's group in my new area if I can, but I don't think they'll ever compare to this special group. 

My writer's group last till nine, so by the time we finally got home, it was already almost 9:45 (45 minutes later than I am normally in bed). But we still had cake to eat, a moist, white cake with fresh strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, peaches, and kiwi on the top with a whipped icing. Mike did a great job picking it out!

Oh, and I also was able to get a quick selfie with Juan to make up for him not getting a selfie with me on Mother's Day.  He said I will get my gift on Friday and wanted to make sure I knew he didn't forget about it.  Hmmmmmm. Wonder what it could be?

I sunk into bed after 10:00, but didn't fall asleep as quickly as I normally do after just eating that sugary cake. Ooops.

This morning, the day after my birthday, I got up early and went to a local coffee joint that was offering free drinks to teachers for today only. Then when I got to school, I got out of my car, and the crossing guard hollered, "Happy day after your birthday!!!!" Lol. He's a fun guy, and truly, our families are pretty close. His daughter is one of my closest friends.

But the sweetest gesture came when my students walked in the door and one of my girls handed me a pink Happy Birthday crown, the one I had seen on the other teacher yesterday and jokingly said I needed a crown like that. It touched me heart in a deep way and made me feel so special! I will treasure that crown for a long time.

Turning 45 felt pretty good. :) 

Thanks, God. 

Mother's Day 2022

Mother's Day is always a great reminder to thank God for blessing me with the privilege of being a mom in three very different, unique ways.  All 3 of my boys are all grown and independent in their own way, but obviously the one I gave birth to is the one I have to get a second look at every time I see him. I'm still in shock over the young man who sits in front of me. 

This sweet boy took me out for brunch at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants.  I enjoyed every second with him, every bit of our conversation, and the food was good, too!

Not long after we got home, I got back in the car to head to my mom's house to take her a gift. We sat out on her porch and had tea together, with my dad, too, for about an hour or so. It was a nice, relaxing visit. Maybe next time we can get back to crafting. :)

Hard to even imagine that next year I won't be near either one of them for Mother's Day. 

I also heard from Julian in Argentina, which warmed my heart because we haven't had much communication since about November because he's had phone issues. In fact, Christmas and New Year's both passed without any word from him, which has never happened before. So I don't take a single message from him for granted any more. He holds such a tender spot in my heart and always will. 

Juan was house/cousin-sitting over the weekend, so I didn't see him at all, but at least he took the time to text me. Personally, I think Mother's Day is hard on him, for obvious reasons, because he's never been real big on celebrating it. I'm thankful to be his mom, but I will never truly understand the void that his biological mom left in his heart. Yes, we celebrate and are grateful for adoption, but may we never lose sight of the grief and trauma that came first. 

Not long after I got home from my parents' house, Mike got home from work, and David, Mike and I all enjoyed a really nice dinner together to wrap up the day. 

Nothing big or extraordinary.  A simple day, enjoying time with the people closest to my heart. 

Teacher Appreciation Week 2022

The week turned out fun, and I really did end the week feeling incredibly appreciated. I tried to savor each day, each gift, each surprise knowing that, although I will still be teaching, my teaching career will look very different from here on out. 

Unfortunately, due to inflation, I'm assuming, not a lot of retailers or businesses jumped on the Teacher Appreciation specials like they have in the past. But a few did, so I made sure to take advantage of them. :) Whataburger offered a free breakfast item for teachers all week. I only planned on going once, but David said if he had that chance, he'd be going every day. So I decided to make that my goal, and I did! I've decided that I like the bacon, egg, and cheese taquito the best, though their honey butter chicken biscuit is pretty good, too. Thank you, Whataburger, for a quick and tasty breakfast every morning this week. 

As soon as I got to school on Monday, I saw that Fifth Avenue Nutrition (a cute little coffee shop that David and I like to ride our bikes to) came to brew us each our own specialty coffee. I must say, I can't complain when I have a caramel cheesecake latte to sip on first thing on a Monday morning. 

They served each one with a chocolate covered strawberry on top! Yum!

A student brought me a really nice decorative box with this treasure inside--a glass water bottle with my name on the side!

Another student also greeted me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

The next day, several students brought me goodies, including a full box of chocolate covered strawberries, a cold coffee, some chocolates, and a sweet note from a sweet boy in my class. 

After my lunch duty, I came back into my empty room and found this cute little note on my computer from one of my students from last year. 

We got a goodie bag from the Sunshine committee, and inside we found some breakfast items and a coupon for a free iced tea at a really cool tea place not far from the school. 

On Thursday, it was 5 de mayo, and several of us dressed up in our Mexican attire. My coworker and I snapped a "twinsie" pic in our pink shirts. She's a beautiful friend and an absolute gem in my life--also a sister in Christ, so I treasure her friendship.

The same boy that brought me the water bottle and the chocolate covered strawberries brought me more strawberry treats to enjoy on Thursday. 

Friday morning, I stepped outside to go for a walk and noticed this one solo rose blooming. Wow. Even God sent me a flower to brighten my day. :)

But nothing prepared me for how appreciated my kids made me feel on Friday morning when they walked in the door. Gift after gift after gift handed to me. Thoughtful gifts, too--pink mugs, baskets, flowers, cups, etc. Even a pink coffee mug with my name on it. :)

Beautiful color. 

Another cold coffee to perk me up in the afternoon. :)

Two more notes from last year's students. 

A delivery that came after lunch--a sweet bear made of flowers with a beautiful note from a mom I've never even met other than over the phone.

A beautiful flower and poem from the same boy that brought me all the strawberry treats.

Three pink cups and a pink candle. :) My students know me well. 

This view makes me smile as I wash my dishes and look out my kitchen window. I truly feel very loved and appreciated. What a great last teacher appreciation week at Bullock Elementary. Definitely an emotional week, as well, as I officially resigned my position after this school year. I kept putting it off, even though I already fully committed to another job, but I knew my principal really needed me to make it official so he could start looking for the best replacement for a second grade teacher. So I finally did, and now people will start hearing through the grapevine that I'm leaving (precisely what I was avoiding....) Oh, well. Five weeks left. It's going fast!

Then I ended the week by going on a date with Mike last night to get a free sundae for Teacher Appreciation Week.  With, of course, more strawberries. :)