Have you ever tried arguing with God? I have. Actually, I've been doing that a lot lately. I used to think it was a pointless exercise, but the more He argues back, the more I see the value in the argument just so it forces me to listen to His responses. Here's what my inner world has sounded like recently:
Me: God, how do I know if this is really Your will, Your direction for us?
God: My child, haven't you seen Me open doors that you were told could never be opened?
Me: Yes, I suppose so. But don't you see what's left in my bank account? There's no way we have enough.
God: Did I not feed the multitudes with only a few small loaves and fishes, and then provide twelve basketfuls of leftovers? I don't need "your" money to accomplish My will.
Me: What if we do all this again, and they still say no?
God: What if you do all this again, and this time they say yes? Do you want to live life always wondering what would have happened if....?
Me: But don't You remember how devastated we all were, all five of us? I just can't bear the thought of going through that heartache again.
God: But don't you remember how I carried you through that valley, holding you closer than I ever had before? Don't you remember the beauty that came from those ashes, and the people you became throughout the trial? Would you really want to trade who you are today for that insecure girl you were before just to have escaped the heartache?
Me: But what if we're not ready for all the change?
God: Have I not promised that I will never leave you or forsake you? Just as I have always been, I will always be there, right by your side, willing to take you by the hand and walk with you.
Me: But God, our goal just seems impossible. There are too many complications to this case. There's no way it can all work out.
God: Am I not the God of the Universe? Do you not think that I can make the impossible become possible?
Me: But God, look at the calendar. We're racing against the clock. There's just not enough time for this to be accomplished.
God: Child, did I not create time? Did I not make the sun stand still in order for My people to win a battle? Have I not already given you connections that have saved countless weeks of time? Time is in My hands. It always has been.
Me: But God, how can we possibly meet the emotional needs of a child who has been fatherless for so long?
God: Am I not the Father to the fatherless? I have cared for his needs all this time and will continue to do so. It is not up to you. Have I not shown you that their story began many, many years ago, and that connecting with you was just another step in their journey that was always part of My plan?
Me: But God, what if I just don't have what it takes? What if we're just walking into an inevitable storm, emotionally, mentally, financially--whether the adoption goes through this time or not?
God: You have Me. I am all you need. Now stop fretting and just trust Me. I know what I'm doing.
Yeah, we go through this argument pretty much every day. I never win the argument, thankfully, but I'm grateful that I've learned to not be afraid to argue because His responses are always worth hearing again.
- I am a wife, daughter, mother, bilingual teacher, poet, author, women's Bible study teacher, world traveler, orphan advocate, and an adoptive mother. Our adoption journey has been filled with a lot of hurt and loss, along with even more hope, grace, and healing. Through it we have experienced more of God than we ever bargained for and have watched Him miraculously redeem our story when we surrendered all the broken pieces to Him.