How do I even begin to recount or describe my 20th year of teaching?
Overwhelming is the word that comes to mind.
It's been overwhelmingly personal. God has met me in very deep, personal ways over the last year, showing me that He sees me and knows me on a very intimate level. He knows the desires of my heart, as well as the fears and struggles I face daily. He constantly shows me He's with me, weaving everything together perfectly. Specifically by leading me to a church where I can pursue becoming a certified Biblical counselor much more quickly than I thought, and where I got to be part of a women's retreat/gathering specifically over the very theme I've been writing a book about. He's given me new friends to do life with who reach out and touch my heart in tender ways, showing me that I'm not as invisible as I feel sometimes. He's grown and challenged me in ways I didn't even know I needed to grow, and I'm thankful. He's given me new relationships with coworkers that have changed me for the better and have added a richness to my life that I didn't know was missing. Living pretty much on a nature trail and going to work on a beautiful campus surrounded by nature has helped me appreciate the seasons of life in a new way.
It's also been overwhelmingly unexpected. Teaching in a place like New Song Leadership Academy was obviously nowhere on my radar. I still have to pinch myself occasionally to make sure it's real. I really do teach here. I really do live here. I really am connected with these people and these students, and they all feel like family. No matter how unsettled I have felt in my new (unfinished) home, New Song has felt like home since the moment I arrived. The more relationships and friendships that come into my life here, the more I think about how God planned far in advance to put these people into my life--and to put me into their lives, without me having even the slightest clue that such a change was even on the horizon.
It's been overwhelmingly emotional. I left my family and close friends behind. I've had to watch from afar as they've all replaced their time with me now with other people or activities. I left a precious friend in her deepest time of need and then couldn't be present with her as her needs became greater still in the months that followed. I left a son who only had 9 years with us and never expected his family to move so far away. I left another son who needed and wanted the independence, only to find himself in greater need this year than he'd ever been in his life. I left a mom who left her own life behind to finally live close to me, and then God took me away, not far from where she used to live. And to see her hurt over my absence leaves me with a daunting sense of guilt, even though I can't deny God's very clear call to move here. I left the comfort and familiarity of both a church and a job that I'd been going to day after day, week after week for 19 years. People that knew me, my personality, my gifts and strengths, my weaknesses, and they knew my story. I had to start completely over to rebuild that sense of familiarity in a new church and a new job. It has definitely been heart-warming, though, to see Mike reconnect and enjoy the family that he left behind 20 years ago when we moved to Texas. And I am really thankful for the chance to get to develop real relationships with my mother-in-law, brothers-in-law, sister-in-law, my nephews, and my niece here.
It's been overwhelmingly different. First, I lived in an RV right on the beautiful campus where I worked. Then when the AC broke in the heat of the summer, I lived temporarily in the upstairs part of the house right above the room where we set up the classroom. For the first few weeks of school, all I had to do was go downstairs to get to work each day. But due to staffing issues, we started the year with out any kids on campus. So I logged on to a zoom call to start each day with my one virtual student, hoping we'd be fully staffed and would have several students on campus after the first nine weeks. Those were nine very quiet weeks, precious weeks to get to know my teammate really well and to work hard on developing Leadership and Spanish classes to teach once our classroom filled. Precious time to read a book aloud on a zoom call all about Jesus' life and ministry, an autobiography by Tim Tebow about his faith and the ministry God gave to him through football, and a child's version of Pilgrim's Progress. Though at times it felt very disappointing to only have one student and to have to teach virtually, I knew God had a very special purpose for me to be investing in this one particular child that he would move me so far away and quiet my schedule in such a powerful way. At the end of those nine weeks, I got to be part of a Mom's Spiritual retreat and then pour into that student's mom in a special way. In the middle of the retreat, my own son was in a biking accident that took me back to Texas in an emergency, and those moms left the retreat in prayer for me and my son. By the time I came back from Texas three weeks later, God had resolved our staffing issue and new houseparents were on the way. My one virtual student would soon be on campus with several other boys that I'd met at camp the week after I arrived in Indiana. Second semester held a whole new learning level as I learned to share my classroom with a teammate and with everyone on campus who helped in the classroom on a rotation schedule. I had to shift to a whole new way of thinking about teaching from my class, my kids, my way to our class, our kids, our way. We do life on life with these kids, and we all play different roles that work together for each child's academic, spiritual, and emotional growth. We go on walks to the bridge every day for our screen break and experience God's creation together. We talk about life while sitting on the swings together every day before lunch. We have cookouts, dessert nights, campfires, and game time together during the week. We began the year with dinner together at the boys' home, and we ended the year with a cookout together at the boys' home. Definitely challenging in many ways, but also incredibly rewarding. And so different than anything I've ever done before.
It's been overwhelmingly hard just trying to settle in and start over. We bought a house that needed/needs a lot of renovation (but that has definitely come a LONG way). Like, there were and still are parts of the house that are unlivable, though it has a lot of potential that will just take time to bring out. Restoration takes time, and I am seeing that as a theme God is weaving into this learning process. It's dirty and dusty, and muddy, and there are projects going on all around the house at all times, inside and outside. There are plans for a nice big deck, a new master bath and closet, a renovated kitchen, and a cute little cabin outside for guests. But for now I have an incomplete kitchen, a mini-deck big enough for my egg chair, a closed off log-wall room with uneven floors and no insulation or drywall, and tools all over the place. Mike loves the project of it all. Me, not so much. I just want to bring all my stuff out of storage, unpack, set up, put all my pictures on the walls, and spend all my time out on a pretty deck to enjoy the nature all around me. I hate the feeling of being so unsettled. So why did we buy such a house? Well, we bought more than a house. We bought a lot of land, and most of all, we bought a location that my husband just couldn't pass up. We bought a location almost right in the middle of my work and town, on a peaceful road with only about ten houses spread out over about a mile or so. There's only one house on one side of the road, with two horses, and all the rest of the road is filled with native grasses, trees, and wildflowers. And a creek. It's beautiful and incredibly peaceful out here. Definitely a writer's haven. It's been hard, overwhelmingly hard, but it will be worth it.
This school year has been overwhelmingly unique. New Song Mission is just unique in everything it does. Its very existence is evidence that God puts a vision on people's hearts and then brings all the details, plans, and people together. And it's overwhelmingly humbling to have been chosen and led by God to join the team and the mission here.
It's overwhelmingly inspiring. And it's overwhelmingly obvious that I'm exactly where God intended for me to be. Working with people that were always meant to be part of my life. Building friendships with a new church family that I was always supposed to be a part of.
It has me looking back at how my teaching career even began. I went to college at Taylor University Fort Wayne to become a Spanish teacher, with the hope of teaching overseas as a missionary. Then I quickly realized that an education major didn't interest me much at all. I loved my Bible and ministry classes so much more, so I switched my major and my minor around. I ended up transferring to Grace College where I majored in Christian Ministries with an educational focus and minored in Spanish. My Spanish minor took me to Argentina for a semester while my Christian Ministry major took me to Mexico for a summer, and a few missing credits in Spanish from my transfer between colleges led to an independent study working with Hispanic children in the local public school system. What God did with my life through that independent study because of those missing credits will never cease to amaze me.
After working with Hispanic children and adults for about five years in the very school system I graduated from, I moved to Texas to teach Bilingual Education in the public school system for the next nineteen years. And over those nineteen years, I taught students and worked with coworkers from all over Central and South America, adopted a "child" from South America, and personally experienced more of Mexico, Colombia, Guatemala, and Spain. I led countless Bible studies with women from all ages and walks of life, and I became a blogger and a published author.
Isn't it like God to bring it all together for my 20th year? Getting me out of the pressure of scores and excessive testing in Texas public schools and giving me the chance to teach what matters more than anything--to follow Christ with our whole heart. I ended the year taking my students on virtual travels all over Central and South America (and even to Europe and Africa) for Spanish class, and I got to read missionary stories for Leadership class, inspiring at least one student to make a decision to follow Christ. And instead of diving in to complete coursework for a mandatory Reading Academy this year (a requirement this year in Texas), I'm diving in to complete coursework for the Association of Biblical Counseling. Sometimes God just does so much more than we can ever ask or imagine.
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