Internal Progress

Not a lot of external progress to share this week on the house, but God has definitely been doing a work on me internally through this remodel.

Everywhere I look now, I see mud. Lots and lots of mud. And if there's anything I can't stand, it's mud. I hate getting and feeling dirty. And the hardest part about that is knowing that it's likely going to look like this for a long time. The warm weather has passed, so I doubt it's going to dry up any time soon. Freeze, maybe. But dry up, not so much. 

It's Christmas time, and I just want a clean, cozy home to decorate with all my nativities, a place to invite a friend over for coffee, tea, hot cider or hot chocolate in the crockpot. A comfy corner to put my feet up, wrap up with a blanket by the fire, and curl up with a good book. We've got the cozy part going on with the new wood stove, but the clean is hard to come by. Mike and David are used to working in the garage with grease and all sorts of dirty things, so they don't quite get my sense of discomfort. 

I can easily get stuck in the mud, stuck in my discomfort and dissatisfaction, stuck in an ungrateful state and complain my days away, making my husband feel very unappreciated for all of his time and hard work. I can wish for something better, nicer, and cleaner and forget the potential that lies ahead. Then I could miss the beauty of what's coming. 

I read in a marriage book that some couples give up on their marriage during the hard times, not knowing that they missed the best part that was yet to come. I may hate traipsing through the mud right now, but I can't lose sight of the beauty that lies ahead. The future we will be able to build here on this land we now call home. 

Mike and Matt happen to work in a trade where they are constantly upgrading other people's homes and are able to walk away with materials the people no longer wanted, materials that they've been storing away to put back into our house. The more patient I am, the more materials they come by. Yesterday Mike showed me all the materials and plan he has for a deck to wrap around part of the house. My mind sees endless mud and a long winter ahead. His mind sees plans for projects and improvements I haven't even considered, thinking the money won't stretch that far.

We all three went for a walk in the woods the other evening with a map to help us find the property line. Now that the leaves have all fallen, it's a lot easier to see the land. I needed that walk, right along the neighbor's property line, seeing all the trails on his side--the potential of what our own side can look like some day. Trails on our own land, places where grandkids can come explore some day, nieces and nephews can come hang out, friends can come visit with their families, places we can go for nature walks, etc. I may not have a place to invite them to come right now, but eventually I will, and it will be worth the wait. Worth trekking through the mud for the time being. 

But, yeah, it sure is a lot of mud. What you see there is only a fraction of it. Each season has its purpose. I'm just going to have to grin and bear it through this season of mud and remember that beauty lies ahead. That's why they're called seasons, because they only last for a time.