I considered it a privilege to be part of the audience as my friend and writing mentor spoke through each session, and I looked forward to digging in to the actual study once it came out. But as I sat through Session 5, Mary taught us how to recognize the Psalms of lament and encouraged us to write our own. She explained how David wrote many psalms of lament in the same manner, starting with a lament (or a complaint) toward God, but then remembering God's character and ending each one with hope and a renewed trust in God to redeem.
In that moment, I saw my own collection of nearly 30 years of poems flash across my mind, poems that God helped me write as a therapeutic way of getting through hard times. It hit me that I'd been writing psalms of lament for the last three decades. My poems all start with some kind of deep grief or sadness over something that I struggle to put into words. When I am able to quiet my mind enough to pour out that grief into a poem, I never have any idea where the words will take me. But it almost never fails that once I let the emotion out in the first few lines of the poem, God reminds me that He's still there, He's still working, and it ends with a renewed hope and faith in Him.
"You're going to lead a group of women through this study." I can't say I heard God say that, but I felt it deeply that night.
I couldn't get the thought out of my head, and even when the church building had to close and the Church went virtual, I couldn't let the idea rest. I e-mailed the church and asked if they had ordered the study because I was certain that it was the study I was supposed to lead. (Mind you, I had to make a decision about the study in April--to teach in mid-June--but it wouldn't even release until June 1st. Kind-of a risky decision, giving me very little time to prepare, but I followed through with the prompting anyway.)
So here we are, four solid weeks in, studying together via Zoom, meeting together on our computers every Thursday morning. It's been a tough study, to be honest, forcing you to dig deep and work through some hard stuff with God. It's been eye opening to see some painfully graphic scenarios tucked into Scripture that maybe our Sunday School teachers couldn't present to us with flannelgraph pictures. The Bible stories you didn't hear about as a child, or if you did, you didn't hear all the details about what really happened behind the scenes. But even in the midst of the R-rated material, God still reigned and met the characters in an intimate way. And no matter what unimaginable circumstances are happening in our own lives, God is still God, and He's still making Himself known through them.
Today we got to Session 5, and Mary encouraged us to write our own psalms of lament. I am amazed at how following such a simple exercise can have a profound effect on our grieving process, allowing us to state and feel our grief before releasing it back to God, trusting Him for redemption. I highly encourage you to try it, and then to sit down beside a hurting friend and write one with her, too.
Here is my psalm of lament in this current season that I wrote as an example for our group, followed by the psalm of lament we wrote collaboratively in our study today. May both of them encourage you.
My 2020 psalm of lament
The way we ended the school year deeply saddened me, and the thought of how education has to change because of COVID grieves my heart.
God, strengthen me to reach my students powerfully through this awful pandemic.
I trust that You are not surprised by what is happening, that this is all part of Your plan to draw more people to You in a deeper, more powerful way.
I praise you for the joy that is coming, for the glory that will be revealed after we have suffered and persevered through this trial.
You are El Elyon, God Most High. Nothing is beyond Your control.
Our 2020 psalm of lament
As a society and a family of believers, we are deeply grieving connection.
Please, Lord, redefine connection for us by bringing divine appointments into our life.
We trust that You’re not surprised that our personalities have this need for connection and that You are creating more opportunity to connect with You.
We praise You for the joy that is coming, for the glory that will be revealed after we have suffered and persevered through this trial, and for the deeper way we are going to know You through this season.
You are a jealous God and will fight for connection with us because You love us that much.
No comments:
Post a Comment